Hello chairperson and esteemed legislators.
My name is Lolita and I am here on behalf of myself and other post-abortive women I have been blessed to encounter in counseling.
I am here in opposition to HB22-1279.

Any woman who states that abortion is usually non-eventful and provokes only a sense of relief and gratitude has no right or place to speak for every woman.

I suffered literally decades of psychotic and manic episodes and psychiatric hospitalizations, along with numerous arrests, not because I had done anything illegal, but because the particular officer could see that I was severely unwell and in need of mental health assistance.

It took me years to realize the underlying and unresolved trauma from my abortion in 1994 was a driving force and factor in my hospitalizations and inability to remain mentally healthy.

I consequently attended several healing opportunities, including a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat, an 8 week AbAnon virtual group program, individual counseling sessions and a group counseling pilot program with many other ladies who were also traumatized by their abortion experience.

Although I am doing so much better than in my past, there are still times when I grieve the loss of the only child I ever conceived, even though I have been married now for almost 11 years.

Many prochoice women take procreation for granted. Such as in my case, sometimes a woman is given only one chance to be a biological mother. I regret that I did not keep the child I was given, and that I did not get the opportunity to know my child. “Sending the baby back” doesn’t always work out as anticipated.

Even today, sometimes I am so ashamed of my abortion decision that I can barely stand to be in public.

If abortion had been illegal, I would not have pursued it. My parents newly divorced, and already feeling like a burden to my family, I did not want to further burden them with my baby. But such a burden would have been a temporary condition. Killing my child was permanent.

It is wrong to deprive an unborn human being of all rights, and further wrong to deprive Colorado residents to have a right to vote on such significant proposed legislation.

My name is Anita and I want to share with you what happened when I got pregnant at 14. My mom and father of the baby got together and came up with a plan to convince me to have an abortion. Sadly, I believed this was the best for all of us and the people at the clinic said it was only a blob of tissue not a baby. This I soon found out was a lie. I had to have a 2-day procedure and when I went in the 2nd day I said I changed my mind and didn’t want to do it. They said it was too late and I had to. I was kicking and screaming so bad that the Dr. went out. This is when I sat up and seen the tank with my baby in it. I couldn’t believe it was mine since mine was a blob of tissue. This haunted me for over 30 years. I still see that image. I had a second abortion at 16 but because the first one was so horrible, I blocked it out completely and cannot remember anything.
About 8 years ago I was led to a crisis pregnancy center to volunteer and had to go through a post abortion bible study. This was so amazing that I was FINALLY able to talk about the abortions in a room with other hurting women and women who cared for me. These women wanted to show me I could have freedom from this pain, shame and regret, this is a burden I carried for so long. I was so depressed, angry, suicidal for much of my adult life. I didn’t let anyone know the real me, just let them see what I wanted them to see. I didn’t think God could forgive me so I kept this in a secret box that no one could touch, not me or God. While going through the class I realized that so much of my life was tied to the abortions.
My timeframes were always before or after the abortion. I did secretly wear the scarlet letter A-for abortion. I couldn’t ask for help for how I was feeling, I even heard whispers at night saying “mama mama” these were not my living kids these were from my aborted babies. I did repent of murder but still kept this secret. I felt who can I go to and say please help me…

Well through this class I came to see that I could be forgiven, I could grieve my babies, I named my little boys. We had a memorial and I know today my boys are in heaven and I am free from this shame and guilt. I will always regret what I did, I still say it is a shameful thing I did but the sting of the pain I had for over 30 years is now gone. Today I lead the post abortion bible studies at the pregnancy center to help other hurting women like me walk in freedom. I also stand against abortion and do all I can to prevent women, teens from committing this horrible crime.

Once I found forgiveness and freedom I cannot stay silent anymore!!

Convert for Life